I sent out a request for topic ideas and one that came back was to write about my worst Tantra session. One story immediately comes to mind, but before I tell that story, I want to introduce you to how I became a Tantric Practitioner. If you have read my previous posts, you know that I was interested in Tantra from the time I was a teen. Then, in my early twenties, I married my wonderful husband. We began an incredible Tantric path together. We read about Tatnra, attended workshops about Tantra and a number of other Sacred Sexuality practices and continued to deepen our connection.
At the same time, I was developing my skills as a Hypnotherapist and continuing to enhance my ability as an energy healer and compassionate communicator. I worked for nearly five years as a Clinical Hypnotherapist. My focus was mainly women’s issues (body image, weight loss, relationship challenges, etc.). For the longest time I was completely closed to having male clients. I had my reasons for this choice, but that’s a story for another day.
At some point during my practice I realized that there were a number of important aspects missing. For one, during almost every single session, sexual issues, issues related to sexuality, or sexual repression were at least part of the focus. I realized that there was a need for sexual awareness and expression and for human touch and connection.
This is when Shaktara was born. While meditating, I literally had a vision of this beautiful deity floating above me. Although I have since found reference to the name Shaktara, at the time it was a word that I coined…Shak-tara combines Shakti: The active manifest power that creates the universe. and Tara: a female Bodhisattva in Mahayana Buddhism who is known as the “mother of liberation”. Weaving the names of these two deities or Goddesses together is how I came to the name Shaktara.
I first began Shaktara Healing Arts by creating a Goddess circle focusing on unleashing our inner Goddess or Shakti if you will. During my time leading this group, the main issue that came up for the women attending was either a complete inability to have an orgasm or an inability to achieve orgasm during penetration without clitoral stimulation. So, I started teaching “The Big O”….you guessed it…a group entirely focused on teaching women how to have orgasms with and without clitoral stimulation. this was very successful and well received.
At some point, I began incorporating relaxation massage into my sessions. I called this practice “Hypnotic Hands”. I only accepted female clients, but I continued to receive requests from couples and males. I began accepting couples, but still did not accept male clients. At some point I got an email from a male expressing his sincere disappointment in me. He actually called me gender biased:-)
This horrified me, as I am an advocate for gender equality. So, I stopped saying “for women only” on my site. The most shocking thing happened. Up until that point, my entire client base had been females and the odd couple, but even my couples were often lesbian couples. However, once I opened the door, male clients began pouring in. My client base tripled and my male client base continued to grow.
Because I was badly sexually abused by a trusted male as a child, I did not feel ready to accept male clients, but the universe was sending me a powerful message. I took this as a sign that, in order to move forward on my own spiritual development path, I needed to work through my own issues. I took a break from my practice for a year or so and did some intense personal healing work.
When I opened my practice again, I had a nice mix of spiritually aware males, females, and couples who had a deep desire to develop and deepen their spiritual, sexual, and emotional awareness. As I previously mentioned, the hardest aspect of my practice was clarifying myself and my techniques. Although I am sure there are numerous practitioners that I am unaware of who have similar practices, in general, my practice does not fit in the “Tantric massage” or “Tantric Practice” box.
During my entire time as a Clinical Hypnotherapist, Workshop facilitator, Hypnotic Hands Practitioner, and Tantric Practitioner, I only accepted a select group of male clients. I hand picked individuals who I felt could embrace heart centered Tantra and were capable of respecting my non-sexual approach. For the last year of my practice, I trained an “apprentice”, Rachel. Her and I worked together incredibly well. I had some of my most incredible experiences during our Double Goddess sessions. I think it was our connection that brought the energy level of our sessions to a…well a higher vibration.
At this stage of my path, I am not practicing professionally. I am focusing on my relationship with myself and my lover and on my writing, photography and artistic expression. I see us as equals on the path to sensual, sexual and spiritual awakening. We are one. May you be happy, may we be happy.
From my heart to yours, Joy