For this post, I am not going to comment on the Quodoshka teachings, I am merely going to tell the story of my introduction to Quodoshka. At the time, I was just beginning to explore the idea of integrating sexuality into my professional practice. I was residing in Victoria, BC and had read about the Victoria Erotica Festival and felt intrigued. I am generally a fairly private person, so the idea of attending some of the more risqué workshops (spanking, bondage, etc.) didn’t appeal to me. What did intrigue me was a short paragraph I read about a workshop on Quodoshka Sacred Sexuality that was being taught by Ina Laughing Winds.
The ad for the workshop was very short, maybe a few sentences talking about sexuality in relationships. I honestly can’t remember the exact description, but I definitely found it interesting. At the time, I was the co-facilitator of LUV, Lighten Up Victoria body image workshops and groups for women. I decided that I was going to attend the workshop, but didn’t want to go alone. My business partner, Jane, at the time was nearly 20 years older than I and in a long-term stale marriage, so I asked her to attend with me. I also had a client, Tanya, who was successfully increasing her bust size through hypno sessions with me (that’s a story for a different day!).
So, I asked the two women to attend the relationship workshop with me. I was so excited! I arrived at the workshop location and was first a bit surprised that it was being held in a home. I parked and followed the signs to the back entrance. I immediately noticed that the path was beautifully decorated with outdoor candle torches. The woman who greeted me at the door was a beautiful Goddess who was so warm and inviting. As usual, I was quite early. I wanted to ensure that I could hear every word spoken, so I grabbed 3 front row seats. Shortly after my arrival, Jane and Tanya arrived. We chatted briefly while the room filled with nearly a hundred individuals and couples. One of the attendees was Betty Dodson, who I was not familiar with at the time, but have come to respect as another professional in the field of human sexuality.
As the room settled, a stunning middle-aged woman took a seat on the “stage”. She was accompanied by her lover and husband, a tall, interesting looking man. During the first part of the workshop, Ina talked about the history of Quodoshka and how one could incorporate these teachings into their lives. I was fascinated. I was impressed by her wisdom, honest and open approach and her inner confidence. She was not only externally beautiful, but her ability to speak to a group as though she was having an intimate chat with each of us inspired me.
About halfway through the workshop, there was a brief intermission. At the end of the break, a helper, the beautiful Goddess who had greeted us at the door spread out a blanket on the floor directly in front of our feet. I immediately felt both Jane and Tanya’s eyes on me. I looked at both of them and shrugged, while my face flushed hot red. To give you a bit of background, Jane was a sharp business woman with a background in corporate marketing. Tanya was a fairly conservative woman who was married with a couple of children. I had no idea what was about to happen, but I thought whatever it was, they may not approve of!
The next part of the workshop was not what I had expected. Ina, the presenter, asked for a female volunteer. Immediately, a beautiful woman in her early thirties sprang to her feet and came forward. She was instructed to lie down on the blanket and it was mentioned that she could choose what level of dress she would like to wear. She immediately stripped off her top, leaving her breasts fully exposed. As for her bottoms, she was wearing a revealing skirt. She lifted her skirt and slid her panties off, flinging them to the side as if they had been annoying her all day.
She then laid down directly in front of Jane, Tanya and I. My feet were literally less than 2 feet away from her half-naked body. I completely avoided eye contact with either Jane or Tanya….I had no idea how they would react to this erotic aspect of the workshop. Ina instructed the volunteer to grasp a dildo in one hand and her breast with her other hand. She did as instructed, as another volunteer handed her an obviously lubed dildo. Ina then instructed her husband to pleasure this woman in any way he felt she desired. I have to admit, I was completely floored! Here I was feeling naughty about my sexual explorations when I now realized that my own path barely scratched the surface of the pure erotic bravery that this workshop displayed.
Although I cannot remember the man’s name, I will never forget the intensity of his gaze. You see, because of my proximity and position, each time he looked up, he was gazing directly into my eyes. As I have clarified, I am a completely monogamous woman, but the intense sexual energy in the room was unbelievable. I found myself interested in what this man had to offer. I took a mental note and decided to discuss this with my own lover. I immediately acknowledged that it was not this middle-aged man and his sexual freedom that was intriguing me, it was his ability to direct his sexual energy.
As the workshop continued, the female volunteer was brought to orgasm at least once that I remember through the exploration of her erogenous zones with tongues, feather, and the like. A second volunteer joined the stage at some point. Her job was to lick the woman’s body with ice cubes in her mouth. At some point, the volunteers left the stage and they asked for new volunteers. To my total and complete utter shock, Jane, my conservative to the point of stuffy partner (I mean that in the nicest way) raised her hand and subsequently grabbed my hand and pulled me to the stage.
This display of courage must have inspired Tanya, because she stood up with us! I have to admit, I was not at all pleased about being roped into this charade. Thank goodness, I was not asked to be pleasured by some strange man or woman for that matter. What we were involved in was a lingham worshipping act. We were asked to imagine that this fine specimen of a man (her words not mine) was our sex God and that we worshipped his lingham. We had to arrange ourselves in a way that expressed our deep, sensual admiration. It was kind of fun!
While the workshop had been entertaining, up until this point I wasn’t feeling that I was going to take away any deep wisdom. I was pleasantly surprised by what came next. The whole last hour or so was dedicated entirely to explaining about the power of masks in sacred sexuality. This introduction to such a simple yet beautiful aspect of human nature completely altered me, my relationship, and my sexuality forever. Masks is more complex than what I can express within the context of this post, so I’ll leave that for another day, but I have to say that incorporating masks into my daily life, my relationship, and my sex life was incredibly powerful and liberating!
I left the workshop a changed woman. During the question and answer portion of the workshop I asked Ina was how she juggled being a mother, a grandmother and a sacred sexuality workshop facilitator. She said simply…”masks of course my dear. I have one mask that I wear to my parent’s association meeting, another that I wear in the boardroom and a completely different mask that I wear in the bedroom!” I cannot think of another statement related to this topic that has empowered me more than what Ina shared with me that day. This is one of the reasons that I am such an advocate for having wise women and men in my intimate circle of friends. They are able to open our eyes and assist us in letting our own light shine. I suppose the message I am attempting to share is that stepping outside your comfort zone in a safe and healthy manner can be incredibly liberating!