Funny, I have a tendency to give in to my sexual pattern…being a pleaser. I love being pleased, but I truly thrive on discovering new ways to please my lover. This tends to be a common sexual behavior or pattern in women.
What we must remind ourselves is that our lovers feel pleasure when they please us as well. I know this, of course, and constantly teach the give and take pleasure techniques to my clients.
I didn’t even notice my dissatisfaction creeping up on me. My lover has been working 6-7 days per week and it’s also the final series of the Canucks hockey season. You know the saying “we interrupt this marriage for hockey season”…well, my man is more balanced than that, but it can feel a little intense.
Saturday was his one and only night off this week, which also happens to be ‘hockey night in Canada.’ So he spent his night off at his mom’s house watching the game on her flat screen t.v., while I stayed home writing my book. When he got home, I was hoping for some serious romance, while he was thinking I might like to watch the game highlights.
Wrong. Dead wrong. In most situations like this, I am able to calmly and patiently redirect. Last night I said something like…”after having you gone all week, then spending your one night off watching the hockey game…the last thing I want to do is spend the few hours we have together watching the game highlights.”
Hey, a little wrath never hurts, right? So, he quickly shifted gears; we cuddled on the couch, drank a couple of glasses of wine and then wound up in bed together. He was feeling ready to make love and often, especially when his energy is low from over working, I would simply oblige.
Last night, however, I remembered my own teachings…communicate, express your needs and be open to receiving. So, I simply said “I want more foreplay…foreplay focused on me. I want to be fully open to sex, I want to crave sex so bad my whole body shakes.”
This is not one of those be careful what you ask for situations. I got what I wanted and it was mind-blowing! When he first started, he said “what type of foreplay do you want?” I said “I don’t know, but what I do know is that I certainly don’t want to be in charge.”
Perfect direction..he took control and found new ways to pleasure me. Ways that even I didn’t know. F-ck yes! It was delectable! I had a series of smaller climaxes and then a divine orgasm that allowed my inner juices to flow….I so needed to spend a few hours being pleasured….
The Bottom Line: Communicate your needs and take the time to explore new ways to not only please, but new ways to be pleased. Yum!