Male/Shiva and Female/Shakti Energy, Equality, and Balance

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David mentioned in his most recent comment on my post that the passage I quoted from The Lost Diary of Don Juan was ‘sexist’. I can only assume that he was referring to the fact that, in the specific reference, the character, Don Juan, is highlighting the importance of the female in comparison to the male during the act of making love.

Since I posted the passage from Doulgas Carlton Abrams book, I thought that I would clarify my own thoughts on the issue David brought up.

I will first say that I see my husband as my equal in all ways. I honor his masculinity, his strength, and I honor his lingam and his sexual energy. I equally honor my femininity, my strength, and and I honor my yoni and my sexual energy.

I also believe that male energy dwells in me and that female energy dwells in my husband. It is through accepting and honoring both the male/shiva and female/shakti energy within that we find balance.

I believe that we walk on this earth lifetime after lifetime, soaking up knwoledge and hopefully learning the lessons we need to learn. In fact, although I cannot say whether it was a past life memory or simply a hypnotic dream, but in many of my past life sessions, I saw myself as male. I have most definitely walked this earth in the body of a male.

Have I been wounded in this lifetime at the hands of men? Yes. In fact, from a very young age. Have I forgiven the men who have caused me harm? Yes, thought the process was the biggest challenge I have taken on in this lifetime. Is it possible that my life experiences cause me to favor the female form in a sexual exchange and as sexual teachers? I suppose the truthful answer would be yes.

According to David Ramsdale and Cynthia Gentry in their book – Red Hot Tantra, “As women lost their natural, goddess-based Tantric knowledge and power, they forgot how to transmit spiritual energy through sex as a conscious, sacred art.”

Because of the serious imbalance there is so much healing and work to be done to correct this imbalance. In essence, the media has castrated men, taken away their power, and depicts most male characters as incompetent and cock driven.

At the same time, for centuries, women have been shamed for their sexuality and sexual expression, told that their sexual desire makes them ‘sluts’ and in fact, as I highlighted in a recent post, women are even told by modern authority figures that they should ‘stop dressing like sluts to avoid being raped.’

Whether male or female, each person who feels a connection to their own gender feels the pain associated with this most damaging imbalance. As a society of men and women, we have a responsibility to correct this imbalance.

One of the main reasons I spend my time writing, reading, teaching, and promoting Tantra is because I believe it is one of the many tools that has an important role to play in healing the imbalance that both men and women as a society feel.

In fact, it is my life’s mission to love all beings equally; even those who have caused others or even myself, harm on this earth. This is a lofty goal, especially considering my childhood abuse and sexual trauma in my teens.

I am sure that some of our female readers have also experienced abuse at the hands of men. It is equally possible that some of our male readers have experienced abuse at the hands of females. Abuse takes many forms….sexual, physical, mental, emotional and financial to name a few.

All I can say in response to our collective pain is: May you be happy. May I be happy. May we be happy. May we be free.

Shakti and Shiva

13 Comments Add yours

  1. naturegirl1 says:

    I look at it this way: I believe that Phil has a natural affinity with females, he certainly seems to know how to get into my head, to know my thoughts and feelings. I, on the other hand have an instinctive feeling for males, I can usually pre-empt what a guy is thinking. I think we all have some opposite sex parts in us, it’s just a matter of finding them.

    1. Tantrachick says:

      I couldn’t agree more! Beauitfully expressed, thank you!

      1. i write poems, that is how i communicate…i probably was a woman in my last lifetime, i can’t rightly say but i do know that i am a strong empath, perhaps a hold over from that time. i don’t feel safe to express myself much of the time, and as a male, i have been abused by women sexually, emotionally, financially and physically, so i am wary of women period so much so that i remove the feminine from those who become friends…they cease to be seen by me a women and instead become people, genderless…anyways…i’m rambling and so here’s a poem…about how i got this way…if you want to know more, go to http://www.djonespoet.com it ain’t fancy but it’s real…

        Ships at sea
        my love
        is a sinking ship
        torpedoed at the waterline
        strafed from above
        repeatedly
        low on fuel
        out of ammunition
        too weak to fight
        or run
        circling the islands
        of normalcy
        looking for a safe harbor
        of willing arms
        a peaceful cove
        in a warm bed
        i have been tossed about
        on the sea of you
        the savage storms
        of your disapproval
        rejections
        like silent torpedoes
        your words
        blowing holes
        in the moment
        engine room flooded with tears
        rudder unresponsive
        i run up the white flag
        we’ll do it your way
        my crew of emotions
        on deck in dress whites
        and you
        appearing from the sun
        guns of looks and actions blazing
        my self esteem
        has fallen
        but my pride still spits at you
        with his pop gun
        of small whiskey bottles
        and even smaller bags
        of weed
        i’m caught here
        sinking in the deep blue sea
        fingers on fire
        punctured life boats
        surrounded by pussy sharks
        the alternative
        to be towed into your harbor
        and dismantled
        djones 2009

      2. Tantrachick says:

        David, you are a beautiful soul…thank you for digging deeper with me. You and I are such opposites, we might just be one and the same, just packing different junk in our trunks…I came to this path of ‘sacred healer’ originally as a wounded soul myself…this is a snippit of my story…I feel compelled to respond with deep truth as I am inspired by the depth of both your past pain and present bravery…

        when i was just a babe
        you held me close
        too close
        so close I thought I might die
        your intention;
        to control
        to tame my wild child spirit
        you preened me
        as your puppet
        your little girl toy
        shamed me
        tamed me
        broke me
        ‘cuddled’ me
        to the point of no return
        broken girl
        broken teen
        broken woman
        split in two
        by you
        you masked man
        your mask of love
        hiding your darkness
        the depth of your sickness

        corrupted innocence
        broken woman
        seeking broken men
        breaking men
        needing to feel whole
        expanding with pain
        oh and rage
        yes, yes
        let’s not forget rage
        then wrath set in
        filled me
        fooled me
        further masked me
        burried me
        loss of faith
        turned to shame
        illuminated
        he found me
        my broken soul
        shattered heart
        abused body and mind
        this is not real
        he is a line
        fairytales are bullshit
        cut the crap
        act like a ‘man’
        men are not human
        not capable of love
        must be lies
        all fucking lies
        cause i ain’t
        worthy of love
        of kindness
        of happiness
        no, i’m broken
        that’s me rocking
        in the corner
        in the bed
        ‘cuddling’
        fuck you
        fuck me
        fuck us all
        cause we sure are
        fucked
        if you think
        this is one of those love stories
        and we’re just going to drive
        into the sunset
        and live happily ever after
        you can get the fuck out
        cause the last thing i need is

        another man
        another man
        another man

        hold the phone
        dammit all to hell
        i love you
        you love me
        and fuck me
        you are real
        you saved me
        i saved you too
        saved half of ‘mankind’
        from my wrath
        saved me from my pain
        from my broken
        broken and shattered
        mind, body, soul
        you found me
        i found you
        and fuck it all the way
        to heaven
        i fell for you
        fell into you
        with my body
        my soul
        my spirit
        and my now mended heart
        I shed this past
        this hate
        this pain
        this sadness
        oh and mother rage
        mother wrath
        turning me inside out
        gnawing on the bars
        that hold back my heart

        there is love
        there is love
        there is love
        i forgive
        dont ever forget
        but this love blinds me
        softens the sounds
        of my muffled cries
        my silent tears
        oh yes there is love
        cause i have it
        and give it
        and it fills me
        mind
        body
        soul
        spirit
        heart
        as i like to say;
        may you be happy
        may i be happy
        may we be happy
        may we be free
        cause i AM you
        and you ARE me
        cause brother
        sista
        we are one…

        inspired by ‘djones
        dedicated to:
        djones
        to the man i love
        to my boys and my girls
        to all men and women

        Joy Nelson today-2011

  2. No wonder male testosterone levels are falling faster than Al Gore fuzzy math existential threats and picture show attendance impotence is the new normal while domestic violence and other atrocities obfuscate marital unions never an excuse and defiantly not sexual rather sadistic but the points I am trying to cum up with along with guys having to use pills injections creams powders and patches for fake hormones aka steroids dick pills and suffice it to say my imagination your superlative writing and naturally high fluids have not even thought about Viagra or needles Yet but pressure duplicity and straight up pre renaissance sexuality for ethical standards and unattended disparities wish I could find strong thinking for herself lubricated, joke Liberated women that didn’t want to burn down the Whitehouse chop off my little energizer bunny think it would be perfect example horses in the wild the stallions, me us and we, serve two purposes in fact hold neither logistical or statutory authority as protecting the Hurd and pleasing the alpha mare whom decides where they go when along with her judicial sovereignty crime and punishment

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