Pervert: ‘A person whose sexual behavior is regarded as abnormal and unacceptable.’
After reading this standard definition for pervert, I must ask: abnormal or unacceptable by whose standards? Some may think that what Mac Mclelland recently did – use a sexual role play scenario to overcome post traumatic stress disorder – is unacceptable. I, on the other hand, think it was brilliant.
They say the proof is in the puddin’…well, Mac successfully overcame her PTSD with her ‘abnormal’ techniques – having her trusted lover take control during their sexual encounter to help her purge the negative energy associated with fear of rape from her mind and her body. The important thing is that, although to an observer, it may have appeared to be rape, it is was not rape, it was sex, because it was consensual.
To me, as London pointed out in his recent guest post: What is an Ethical Pervert? I agree fully that one of the most important aspects of an ‘ethical’ sexual exchange is that it is consensual. In addition to being consensual, a very important factor is that both parties involved are of age…to me, of age is not so much a number, although above 18 is an absolute bottom line requirement.
Beyond being 18…I feel that a person who is ‘of age’ must have gathered enough relevant life experience to be in a position to make an informed and well-rounded decision. However, other than the consensual and of age requirments…if you like it, it’s good!
Oh wait! One word of caution for those of you who like to take push the boundaries sexually…The Supreme Court of Canada recently ruled that a person must be conscious in order to consent to a sexual act. To clarify, the individual must be conscious at all times for their consent to be considered legal. This is a precedent setting case. FYI!
On another note, I recently read a very interesting article (sorry, I can’t for the life of me remember the name or what site it was on). The focus of the article was sexually deviant behaviour…not whips and chains, rather the kind of stuff that warrants serious consequences including jail time or possibly de-balling, depending on whose implementing said punishment.
What I found interesting is that these particular researchers noticed a pattern that I have never heard discussed professionally before. There appears to be a connection between older males who are either not in a relationship or who are in a sexless relationship and sexually deviant behaviour.
The gist of it was that the lack of sexual contact over extended periods of time can lead to serious mental and emotional imbalances. If left unattended, an individual may feel like they are not worthy of sexual gratification with an adult and may seek sexual gratification from minors or through sexually aggressive behaviour.
I suppose my response to the men in this situation is: jack off, hire a sex worker, or whatever floats yer boat, but for God’s sake, find a healthy outlet! There is absolutely no excuse for pedophiliac or violent sexual behaviour. None!
This is why the shame and guilt around masturbation and other healthy forms of sexual exploration is so damaging; it creates an imbalance in our society, which causes the shadow side of sexuality to rear its ugly head. My solution? Make love not war, baby! Well, on that happy note, it’s time for bed I think. I promise to provide you with something more titillating tomorrow! Sweet dreams!