Marriage Exposed by Guest Author Gino Montessi

Kennedy marriage
Image via Wikipedia

Gino submitted his most interesting opinions about marriage in the form of a post he recently wrote…Gino wondered if I would publish it or not, likely because he could imagine that, being a married woman myself, I might not appreciate his opinion.

The interesting thing about Gino’s post is that it is so opposite to my own way of thinking that I knew I simply must post it! I mean, how boring would it be to only ever hear one point of view? That’s what makes life, especially sensual life interesting…diversity! Enjoy!

Marriage Exposed!
by Gino Montessi

From the moment we depart our mothers’ wombs we are brought into a society in which marriage is a norm. We are expected to adhere to that path and attain the American dream; go to school, get a degree, get married, have a house with white picket fence along with a family and a pet. We are so indoctrinated that we fail to realize why we are even getting married in the first place!

Most people are dismayed when asked why they want to get married, because a lot of people simply don’t really know! The idea that you are getting married because you love one another is outrageous.

Does that mean that you didn’t love them before you got married? Is your love solely based on the act of getting married? Or is it that you want to follow tradition and get married? Female Genital Cutting is a tradition and is performed as rites of passage in parts of the Middle East and Africa. Just because its tradition doesn’t mean it’s good.

Traditions take many forms and they could be wicked or noble. If we continued following the traditions developed at the start of human history, we wouldn’t evolve as a species.

Simply, you do not need marriage to have kids, express love, or live together, so why get married?

Gino’s Bio:

Gino Montessi was born into a multicultural family — his mother, Christine Wines, an American, and father a Honduran. He lived in ethnically diverse communities such as Miami and San Diego and since the age of five has been immersed in different cultures.

His mother was a Foreign Service officer and, like the military, served overseas in Spain, Panama, and Mexico. He has also been in Honduras to visit relatives and Italy as a high school exchange student. Most recently, he spent a semester in Netherlands where he explored the rich cultural heritage of Europe and visited Czech Republic, Slovakia, Hungary, Belgium, Spain, France, and Germany to name a few.

Gino earned a Bachelor’s Degree in Political Science and a minor in History from San Diego State University. Currently, he has applied for a Fulbright Scholarship to India to discern how the micro-credit loans help provide families with a better life through improved education for their children.

Love is not an institution, why make it one by signing that paper? The government shouldn’t be a part of your love; you don’t need their stamp of approval on your relationship. Love is free flowing, unconditional, don’t make it stagnant and put restrictions on it.


3 Comments Add yours

  1. jeffstroud says:

    Hey, I was taught all those things too! I was raised Catholic and envisioned this ideal. Yet God/Goddess had other idea’s! Turns out that I was gay, so 40 years ago marriage was not even on the table for gay men, and the idea that gay was all about sex and not relationships was a theme that gave a culture some bad mojo!

    Marriage fits where it fits! Life is not about marriage, life is about relationships, all relationships… We have relationships with everyone and everything in our lives.

    1. Tantrachick says:

      Beautifully spoken! I was not taught much about marriage and did not have much of a positive outlook on marriage, considering my mom married just because being a single mom was socially unacceptable and my bio father was, well…not dad material at the time. The guy she married when I was 6 months old is the one wwho molested me throughout my life…oops…that kind of backfired!

      Funny thing is though…I went out and got married as soon as I was of age. Somehow for me, marriage held some sacred answer…that flopped the first time and pretty fast once I realized my first husband was an abuser and an acoholic. So, one would think that, when I met (under very strange circumstances) and fell in love with Mountain that I would have run screaming! I nearly did…but something inside me screamed out life committment. So far so good!

      Unlike in Jeff’s situation, marriage was an option, but immigration issues (I’m a Canuck, he’s not!) meant that marriage was simply what was necessary. Our motivation went so far beyond immigration, government, etc. It was about making a committment and sticking to it because we knew we had what it takes to actualy be blissfully married. We have had our moments…we have had a few rip snorting fights along the way…there have been other folks who wanted to be with one or the other of us and put on the pressure…but we have perservered and the crazy thing is…for us, it honestly just keeps getting more intense…even all these years and all these kids later…!

      Whooosh! sorry…got carried away there! The bottom line for me: if you like it (and the state or country doesn’t control your actions because of some rediculous law) it’s good! From my heart to marital bliss…Joy

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