Peace of Time: Fear, jitters and then…accpetance…

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Well, this morning I awoke to 3 sick children..When they are sick, they generally want only me…funny how the universe likes to play with us and test us…the shoot today is supposed to be about capturing the essence of me…not the essence of the mother I am, or my role as wife, teacher, sister, daughter, friend…nor is the intention to capture my professional side….

No, the intention is to let all of those masks fall to the side and for me to emerge…and for me to express this mainly through my eyes…one aspect of my being that i haven’t readily shared is guarded Joy…I have suffered greatly in my short life..I won’t get into the details here…some of my storied I have shared with you, some I have shared with individuals from my intimate circle..and I’m sure there are a few traumatic moments in my life that are sacred only to my subconscious mind…

Letting my guard down completely, especially in the presence of an unfamiliar male…wel…I must admit, it’s a huge test for me….In my relationship with my lover and life partner, Mountain, the wall around my heart, mind, body and spirit is non-existant…although it took us many years to reach this point…

By sharing his approach to photography and to bringing out the ‘true woman’..the woman behind the masks…he has both intrigued and terrified me:-) So, we shall see what emerges from today’s shoot….I have had other photographers attempt to get me out of my clothes even though we had not agreed to a nude shoot…in fact, I have not yet been photographed fully nude other than by Mountain…

Just recently, I had someone who read my blog say they wanted to feature me in an erotic coffee table book…At first glance, I was hesitant and guarded….but I thought, oh it’s just your old patterns arising…let it go and be open. As the conversation continued, he said that he loved my blog and that it made him feel so excited to work with me…when I asked him why, he told me that it was because he would love to work with someone who is comfortable pushing boundaries…he said he’d like me to be photographed during a bukkake scene…

As I was sitting in my cozy house with my little girl leaning in to me, while I sipped my coffee…this complete stranger is asking me to be photographed doing something I wouldn’t have ever done…even in my wildest teen years…Although I could have reacted with rage, or a variety of negative emotions…and let it go…rather than breathing life into the experience by attaching negative emotions to it…I managed to politely deny his request, but I felt somehow misunderstood….which is bound to happen when you write about such intimate topics…

On-going physical, emotional, sexual abuse and rape plagued my past…loving connection and a nurturing family fill my present day life with happiness…I like to think that some adventure and blissful moments will fill my future….my own personal healing journey has been long and arduous…In fact, it is my own healing and what I have learned through my ‘negative’ experiences that brought me to the path I am currently on…

If I had to pick one title that best describes my work, it would be Tantric healing…Sometimes, the path of a Tantric healer engages the erotic side of a being…because it is during those moments that the conscious mind retreats, allowing access to what lies beneath the surface…it is then that deep healing, release of tension and transformation is truly possible. It is simply beautiful…to experience and facilitate transformation through Tantra….I am blessed to be a part of this journey…and I am honoured to be on this path..with you…”Peace of Time” was the name of my family sail boat when I was a child…I think it is a very suitable phrase to represent this day…

From my heart to yours, Joy

ps: I guess I should shed this towel, try to deal with my unruly hair and get dressed for my upcoming shoot, although I suppose a towel and wet hair might work just fine!

 

Guarded look in her eyes...

 

5 Comments Add yours

  1. Oh my god a bukkake scene, what the hell was that guy thinking!? I’ve had my share of creepiness running Oni Studio as well, but never anything like that!

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    1. Tantrachick says:

      I am glad to hear that this guy was possibly farther out there than some and even though I do not wish that kind of energy on anyone, I must admit it’s helpful to know I am not alone in the creepiness target department. Thanks for sharing!

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  2. naturegirl1 says:

    My sentiments exactly, what a total dickhead! Just what has he seen or read to make him think that you would even contemplate something like that!
    The sad thing is he may well have ruined things by putting you off doing a tasteful nude set of photos (I hope he hasn’t, as i for one am looking forward to seeing the full beauty of you).
    You have also touched on another interesting point: the notion that loving sex can help overcome despondency or sadness. I am not ashamed to admit that I find a climax or orgasm a great way to lift my mood. Ideally I would want Phil to be the “giver”, but even in his absence I have found that a self induced climax is a therapeutic tonic!
    In my first shortlived stormy marriage I had many opportunities to test that theory, Colin may have been a bit of a bastard, but he was a very capable lover!
    I am not educated enough in the ways of Tantra to be able to give a reasoned response, but the little experience I have had suggests to me that the way to blissful peace that tantra offers would benefit mankind in these troubled times.

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    1. Tantrachick says:

      Yes, I find it interesting that so many photographers make assumptions about my ‘wild and edgy side’ based on the fact that I talk about sex, sexuality and Tantra…hohum…I have not been put off…I have an artistic nude shoot scheduled for Dec 14th…The interesting thing is that, the photographer will be turning the photo into a painting using htis amazing technique…I will write a post about this process possilby later today.

      I have overcome not only stress, but also my ovarian cysts by climaxing more regularly..if you ask me, an orgasm or 2, 3 or even 6…keeps the doctor away…approaching lovemaking from a tantric approach definitely creates a deep sense of emotional, physical and spiritual calmness, especially Tantric massage…

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      1. khorn98985 says:

        I have to admit that when I first met Joy I wasn’t quite sure what to expect. I think that I, like many photographers in a similar situation, wasn’t quite sure what I was getting into. Here I had connected with a Tantrick sex goddess on the internet. I had seen some of her pictures and was intrigued with this woman who was so open and honest in her blog and yet so restrained and conservative in her public images. I was a victim of making an assumption about her “wild and edgy side” It was the reason behind one of my first questions when we met, “What do you hope to gain from this shoot and what are you comfortable showing.” Joy immediately set me straight. She looked at herself as a “rustic old hippie” and we went with that and I think we had a great shoot. Finding out what your model’s expectations are is probably one of the most difficult things a photographer can do and with Joy it was right out there and easy to work with.

        I see a woman who is struggling with her inner demons. I know little of her personal life and what she has gone through to arrive at this period in her life. I do think that she has some very clear cut ideas of where she wants to go and is merely struggling with the exact course on how to get there. I think Joy said it best in her welcome to Tantric Boot Camp video. “It’s a little bit scary to open up.” Well I sincerely hope to be able to work with this wonderful woman in the future. Maybe I can play a small part in helping her get to where she desires to go.

        Joy I think you said it earlier, maybe “a towel and wet hair are the way to go.” Thanks for sharing a bit of yourself with me. Hopefully I too will grow from the experience of having known you.

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