Yesterday was an intense day for me…I was experiencing the first day of my moon cycle, there was a terrible tragedy in my small piece of the world, and I was being very hard on myself about a number of things. I have been struggling with the publishing of my first book. Although I have shared my work on many levels with my mother, she prefers not to talk about it. Because of my mother’s upbringing and due to some of the circumstances in her life, she will not discuss childbirth or sex. Period. In fact, those two subjects can easily bring her into an agitated state of rage. So, you can imagine, it is challenging for her and I to connect when it comes to the two biggest passions (beyond my nuclear family) in my life (childbirth and sex).
There was something surreal about forging ahead into the unchartered waters of publishing a book. Odd as it may sound, there is something intimate about this blog, my practice and even my Facebook page. I find that only people who are drawn to this work end up on the blog, in my studio, or on my Facebook page….I was right about my concern. Very rapidly, news spread about my book. My brothers refuse to discuss it with me, my mother barely called since I shared the title with her…and my birth father on the other hand, was pissed off because I didn’t let him write a chapter. Go figure!
However, as I continue to receive positive feedback from the people reading the book…I feel a deep sense of bliss within. I am also noticing that opening up is like tearing off a bandaid….once you let go and feel yourself falling, you realize that your bravery…the bravery it took to take the leap of faith…helps you fly rather than fall. So, my boundary is this…I will not let my family, friends, or society set my boundaries for me…I will continue to freely express myself and share what I have learned along this most interesting path…. From my heart to yours, Joy
“Come to the edge, he said. They said: We are afraid. Come to the edge, he said. They came. He pushed them and they flew.” – Guillaume Apollinaire