What is Tantric Sex?


Yesterday I watched a short video that addresses this question from the perspective of Caffyn Jesse, a lovely local Tantra and Sexuality teacher and practitioner. Honestly, because I was in the middle of a meeting about my upcoming Tantric Massage video shoot, I didn’t get to finish the video. However, I found myself thinking about this question last night.

To define Tantra is impossible. Of course, this is just my humble opinion. Tantra in the West has a tendency to be quite different from Eastern Tantra. In addition, there are likely as many Tantric perspectives as their are individuals practicing Tantra (either in their professional or personal life). With this in mind, how do we, as Westerners, begin to understand this vast, complex and incredibly dynamic topic?

For me, the answer is simple. Everything I do…whether in my personal life or my professional life that is related to Tantra…I call “Tantra-Inspired”. As for an official definition:


  1. A Hindu or Buddhist mystical or ritual text.
  2. Adherence to the doctrines of the tantras, involving mantras, meditation, yoga, and ritual.

In Sanskrit, Tantra is defined as a system of techniques, but there are also a number of additional definitions. Tantra means: weaving, happiness, theory, doctrine, scientific work and more. As you can see, us Westerners who desire a specific definition of Tantra are still left wondering what is Tantra? When we take the time to read texts related to Tantra, we can only begin to grasp the true meaning or core principles of Tantra.

I had a lovely session with an East Indian couple a year or so ago. The male partner was raised with Tantra education as an integral part of his life. He studied with incredible masters and contained within his mind a vast amount of deep knowledge on the topic. Unfortunately, when he tried to incorporate Tantra into his sex life, he was unable to transmute his mental teachings into physical expression. I find this so interesting. Many Western Tantric Practitioners were not raised with Tantra as an integral aspect of our lives; we did not train with Eastern Masters, yet we are able to integrate the core principles and intentions of Tantra into our sex lives.

From what I have researched and been told about East Indian culture, their society is very abstinence based. In the West, unless we are raised in a strict Catholic or Christian based community or home, our culture is steeped with sexually charged messages. It is generally considered a part of teenage life to lose one’s virginity. In fact, 80 percent of men and 75 percent of women lose their virginity by age 19!

After rolling around in the sack with various partners, we often find ourselves seeking something deeper and more meaningful. If we happen to find the Western interpretation of Tantric sex; beautiful soul-moving, earth shattering orgasms experienced while sharing a deeply intimate connection with our lovers…we’re hooked. Indeed, we become hooked on Tantra. As a woman who has not only practiced my own version of Tantra-inspired sex, but also facilitated hundreds of (non-sexual) Tantra sessions with men, women and couples from all walks of life, I too am hooked:-)

If you also want to learn more about Tantra, or want to integrate Tantra into your life, you are in the right place at the right time. Tantra is soaking into the roots of our sexually charged, yet also sexually dissatisfied and often times dysfunctional Western culture. We are bathing in Tantra and massaging Tantra into our bodies while climbing to unprecedented states of orgasmic bliss. Why? Because it’s a truly divine experience. As far as an experiential, hands on art form…Tantric-inspired sex is my favourite.

That’s all she wrote, but I’d love to hear your thoughts on this topic! From my heart to yours, elusive Miss Joy…



13 Comments Add yours

  1. Marget says:

    I thank you Joy. In your blog I have found another puzzle piece to the journey of healing that was necessary and hard won. I had pleaded with the Universe for help to find the way back to the transparency of my sensual, sexual self dimmed although not completely stolen many moons ago. I have found a kindred spirit here and feel like I will get to where I long to be.

    1. Tantrachick says:

      Dear Marget,

      Wow! Thank you so much for your comment. I began blogging a couple of years ago with the intention of creating a personal diary or hournal. After a year or so passed, people actually started reading my blog. In the past year, it kinda took off…readership grew and people began interacting. I love the interactions, but being transparent on such a large scale was very scary…in the more recent past, people I know directly have begun reading myb log, which honestly freaked me out! I have been told that, with my blog popularity, I could monetize it. For me though…that is not the point. The comment you just shared brings me to tears, because interacting on this deep of a level on a global level is the true intention of my blog. With you in mind, I will try to push myself to get into a writing groove again. Thank you from my heart to yours, Joy

  2. Here is a more yogic interpretation of tantra though I touch on the sexual side too:

    1. Tantrachick says:

      Thank you for your contribution to the discussion, Jignasu Deva! I sincerely appreciate your participation!
      From my heart to yours, Joy

  3. nice said !!! joy From my Waves to yours 🙂 actually “Tantra ” is very very big & rare Subject !! we can’t understand The Whole about tantra is our whole life !!! “Tantra ” start from body and than go slowly slowly in to deep mental & spirit body !! after spiritual body tantra again starting to come physical !!! it is very rare mistery about tantra !!!

    1. Tantrachick says:

      Beautifully spoken, thank you Sudir!

  4. Rob Walker says:

    Tantric sensual practices bring an awareness
    of the blissful state humans can achieve
    when they just stop thinking…

    1. Tantrachick says:

      Well spoken Rob..thank you for sharing!

  5. sudhir says:

    tantric sex is art !!… tantric sex is divine prayer there meet two soul for divine purpose..tantric sex mean male energy convert to female energy and female energy convert to male energy this process very rare and very miracle … tantric sex mean ‘samadhi ” !!! three hour tantric sex give us harmony and pleasure for whole life this is the mistry and miracle of tantra !!!

    ” Tantra is my body Tantra is my soul Tantra is my prayer & My soul for you ” !! ~~ sudhir

    1. Tantrachick says:

      Thank you Sudhir for your lovely and informative comment!

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