Not a Nudist

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Nudes in Wiesbaden, Germany
Nudes in Wiesbaden, Germany (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

If you take offense to the title of my blog, I am passing the buck to my fellow Salt Spring hot tub goers, who came up with the title during a hot tub chat. Sunday afternoons, generally around 3pm, I head to my local swimming pool and soak in the hot tub. Often, there are interesting conversations…yesterday was filled with wonderful chat time. One of the topics that has been on my mind is Naturism, Nudists and more specifically, social nudity. I have always loved being naked. As a young girl, the first meeting with my neighbours (Daisy and pops) was while I was during the wee hours of the morn, where, according to my mum, I snook out of the house and proceeded to do naked cartwheels and somersaults on their front lawn. What can I say? It was the perfect backdrop and landscape for nude gymnastics.

As I grew, I found myself developing the normal self-conscious feelings about my body. As I moved into my teen years, my inhibitions were literally stripped away. Pun intended. I found myself fully comfortable being in any environment with mixed company fully nude. I have never really seen nudity as a form of sexual expression. Recently, a close friend of mine, who is dear to my heart, has stripped away his self-conscious judgements about his body and is fully embracing his nudity. Here’s where things become increasingly interesting. For the first time in my life, I have found myself shying away from “social nudity”.

I have been contemplating my withdrawal. I am not necessarily talking about all social nudity, but more specifically social nudity with my dear friend. As I was sitting in the hot tub, I found myself once again contemplating my little conundrum. I was looking around the hot tub, asking myself whether or not it would make me feel less comfortable if my fellow hot tubbers were nude. Almost as if she was following my thoughts, later on in the day, an adorable and wonderfully free spirited little girl, stripped down to her birthday suit…looking mildly contrary (she clearly knew she might get a reaction in this environment). More than anything, I noticed that her eyes twinkled with a new found freedom. She was free.

In that moment, I made a conscious decision to get to the bottom of my issue with social nudity in certain environments or with certain people. I found out some interesting things about myself. While soaking and discussing, I found the root cause of my discomfort with this particular newly discovered nudist. Likely because, beyond my personal roles in life, I am “Tantrachick”. People open up to me about their most intimate and yes, sometimes shocking thoughts, desires and fantasies. Because of my professional role as a sex coach and Tantric Practitioner who also writes erotica and published a book about male orgasms, it must have seemed to make perfect sense to discuss his new nudist thoughts with me.

Of course, during my hot tub time, I kept my friend’s identity anonymous, but I did discuss the basic challenge I was facing (one of my fellow hot tubbers happened to also be lifelong nudists:-). He shared some wisdom with me. Sexuality…or the discussion of sexuality…in the majority of nudist circles…do NOT go hand in hand. So, my wise confidant came up with the phrase “Not a Nudist – a person who overly stresses the nudity aspect of being a “nudist”. This makes perfect sense to me! Although I realize that nudists around the world have different ways of expressing their love of being in a natural state…for ME…being nude in a social setting is about being as comfortable as I feel fully clothed. If someone is frequently pointing out that we are nude (even if they are just coming out of the closet naked for the first time) it makes me feel uncomfortable. Simple.

I know that one of my lovely readers, who I adore and who I have developed a blossoming friendship with, is a longtime nudist…I would love to hear your thought lovely lady! Anyone else who has experience with this topic, I would also love to hear about your own experiences with nudity, naturism, etc. I am so thankful for the couple of folks who provided a safe space for self exploration around this sensitive topic. My dear Newby nudist friend has been asking me what my challenge is and I couldn’t verbally express it…now I can. Of course, I should get on it…as I know my dear friend is one of my blog readers:-) Maybe he’s catching the drift…the last time we were socially nude, he was silent and contemplative and I managed to completely let my guard down and find my comfort…YAY!Thank you. From my heart to yours, Joy – the shy nudist:-)

8 Comments Add yours

  1. Les Reiselt says:

    I would agree with you 100% that being nude in a social setting is indeed complicated. I am one who nearly all would consider to be shy. At 63, I look better and am in better shape than nearly any other men whom I’ve chanced to encounter. Have you seen Swartzenegger lately? For the first time in my life, I can truly say that I’m in better shape than “Ahnold” and yet there is this shyness issue. In a public restroom, I always chose a stall and the farthest one back in the room at that. I hated gym class in school and know that many other boys did as well. Forcing one to strip and use a communal shower can cause so many issues that many are traumatized for life.
    I would possibly be shy if suddenly a long time friend were to mention that they were now interested in social nudity and were planning a pool party to invite like minded friends over to explore this new freedom. To me, this would be rather uncomfortable and I’m not sure how I might respond. I know that I’d like it in the end but initially it would be uncomfortable.
    That said, I’m totally at ease getting a massage while nude and have no problem if I’m covered only with a sheet and then only partially. I have requested at times that it could be removed . I’ve spent time at several clothing optional resorts including at times when there were adult themed parties and found them to be both interesting as well as fun. I’ve spent time at Orient Beach and also Negril and was always totally at ease. On one instance, a co-worker and his very cute fiance had asked when I planned to go to Negril again as they’d like to go as well. We worked this out and I took him to my travel agent (before the time of booking directly online) and 3 months later, it was they who were shy and stayed away from the nude portion of the beach. I would have been been comfortable in this situation but they were not. Not sure why in either case. I’ve done the nude catarmaran at Negril and was completely at ease. I’m also quite comfortable in a romantic setting even if it’s with someone I haven’t known for long. Put me with a group of friends or family who I’ve known a long time and it’s back to the shyness issue.
    My self diagnosed perception is that with a group of strangers, we’re there for one or several of a variety of reasons but with friends and family, we have certain pre-conceptions about one another and don’t want to disappoint..
    I’m a relatively recent widower and my wife and I both enjoyed a naturist lifestyle. Living in Florida we never once wore anything in or around our pool and rarely around the house and we took the opportunity whenever possible to visit clothing optional resorts. We’ve discussed this with others who we knew did likewise including one of my wife’s sisters but never around others nor have we ever intitiated such converstions with anyone.
    I have had some truly wonderful massages and have some training in massage as well but I still look forward to my first Tantric experience as I know it will be wonderful.

    1. Tantrachick says:

      Thank you so much Les Reiselt for your wonderful response! I love hearaing the experiences and wisdom of others….it is funny, it’s just like with my blog…people from around the world read it and I love that, but when a friend tells me they have started reading my blog, my heart beats faster and I find myself scanning my mind to remember what tidbits of personal info they may find within my 400+ posts and 1000+ comments:-) Go figure…I think that, after exploring this topic internally and discussing it with a few nudists…the bottom line is that, for me to be comfortable in the nude with someone…it has to feel comfortable…for me, part of the comfort is in simply being at one with myself and letting go…for that to happen, others must do the same…

  2. marcus ritchie says:

    Hi there good post, which country are u from, hope u dont mind me asking Date: Mon, 7 Jan 2013 23:17:02 +0000 To: ritchie196@hotmail.com

    1. Tantrachick says:

      Not at all…I am CANADIAN:-)

  3. naturegirl1 says:

    Hi sweetheart, sorry I’ve not been around much, you probably think I’ve been neglecting you! Phil & I have just returned from a holiday of a lifetime on Saturday (we should have been back on Friday but our flight got severely delayed by the snow here in the uk). We spent he last 3 weeks sailing with my sister & brother in law around the Windward Islands, after the death of my dad my mum found it hard to cope & as my sis was out of the country mum spent most of the time with us. She finally went home for Christmas though we went with her for a day. Phil & I really needed that break & we rejuvenated ourselves on Caribbean Rum punches & lots of sea food!
    Interestingly, the subject of “social nudity” arose on our holiday! Just try spending 3 weeks on a 40 foot ocean racer in 30c degree temperatures without being naked at least part of the time! We all slept naked with the cabin doors open for ventilation so we all saw each other every morning, also showering on a racing yacht consists of standing on the transom, usually at dusk & hosing your partner down with water while he/she lathers up! This is common practice in the racing community and several other boats had similarly naked people stood on the back most evenings!
    As you well know, Phil & I are died in the wool naturists, I am not at all shy or embarrassed by nudity, either my own or that of others. I love to swim & sunbathe naked, it’s one of life’s simple pleasures. But my sister was quite concerned that I would want to sunbathe nude as she is actually quite a prude, she even asked me to keep topless sunbathing to a minimum and only when we were anchored in quieter bays. Obviously, I complied with her wishes, there will be plenty of other opportunities to get naked on a beach later this year. But it goes to show that even when you are naked in close proximity to others, the context has to be taken into account. Here was my sister (and her husband!) parading around below deck in her birthday suit in front of Phil & I, as well as doing her ablutions naked, but as soon as the notion of sunbathing arose, we all had to cover up to a greater extent!!
    Love you!!
    J

    1. Les Reiselt says:

      Some years ago my wife and I had a similar situation with a longtime friend of hers who had expressed interest in going with us on our next trip to Negril. She and my wife had worked together in nursing for years so she had definitely seen nude bodies of all shapes and sizes. My wife and I had done quite a lot of travel to primarily clothing optional resorts including not only numerous trips to Negril but Orient Beach on St Martin as well. We knew that Pointe Village on Negril’s seven mile beach had 2 bedroom villas in addition to standard hotel rooms and by booking well in advance, we got perhaps the best location on the entire property and located directly on the clothing optional beach and immediately next door to Hedonism. The friend said that she was really looking forward to going and experiencing freedom from a bathing suit for the first time in her life in a social open setting. She did have a private hot tub which she said had never seen a swim suit. I had also made sure that my wife was totally comfortable with the idea that I’d be nude much of the time and always when in our villa and that her friend would definitely be seeing me that way. She said that it was fine and as she’s be doing the same, it wasn’t an issue.
      Reading about something or hearing about it is obviously very different than actually experiencing it and especially for the first time. As we arrived at our villa, the friend looked out at the beautiful beach and when she saw the nude bathers both in and out of the water, it hit her for the first time that it was actually real. My wife and I went to our room to change for the beach and leaving our door open, proceeded to get undressed and put on our swimsuits for the 30 second walk around the building and onto the beach. Our friend did likewise but with her door closed. When changed she came out with a tiny white string bikini and was still saying that she’s gotten the string bikini as it would be so easy to get out of once she was on the beach. The few people on the beach may have nodded hello but otherwise went about their business. Our friend asked how it all worked and so we proceeded to put our towels on the beach lounges and then undressed. At that point our friend froze. This was the moment of truth and she didn’t know what to do. We had already inflated our 3 rafts in the room so my wife and I started to walk toward the water with ours and told our friend to come on. She decided that she’d be more comfortable getting undressed in the water and we assured her that it would be OK . Out on the water,
      she said she was going to take her top off but not with me so close by and asked me to go a short distance away. My wife asked her what then and she said I could come back over. I was only 20 feet away but that was enough that she was comfortable. Each time she went back to the beach she’d put her top back on.
      That evening after dinner we were back in our rooms and we once again were undressed with the door open and our friend in hers behind a closed door. After a short while, she came over to comment that there was a small lizard in her room that we might like to see. We did and she was fine with us being in her room and without clothes as she stood there in her nightgown. She mentioned that her back was hurting from the travel and my wife offered that I gave a good massage so we spread a towel on our bed and I began. Her back had quite a few trigger points which were really tied up like knots. I told her that I had some massage oils along plus some muscle rub and my wife suggested that she would have to take off her gown if I was to use either. I really couldn’t even do a decent job on the trigger points through the fabric so my wife finally told her to take off the nightgown and stop complaining. She did, I was able to complete the massage, and for the remainder of the trip her shyness was gone.
      Hopefully no one reading this expected it to be in any way sexual and if you’re disappointed
      then too bad.

    2. Tantrachick says:

      Hello lovely!

      I have been most neglectful myself, so no worries:-) That is awesome! Thank you for sharing….Things have mellowed much and it is now far more comfortable to be nude in the presence of my dear friend. Thank goodness the novelty has worn off and it all seems much more, well, natural:-) GLad to hear yu finally had some much needed R & R…I know you’ve been run through the mill recently. I love hearing your wisdom as always…from my heart to yours, with love, Joy

    3. Tantrachick says:

      I typed out a beautifully long reply earlier and then zap…I clicked something and it disappeared 🙁 So I will recap in a shorter version, as I am really should go to bed:-) I want to say how pleased I am that you and Phil got some seriously needed…not just wanted or needed, actually but fully deserved down time!

      Also, as always, you inspire me! So thank you from the depths of my heart for no longer neglecting me:-) I am the one who has been neglectful…but I am sending you sensuous heartfelt energy and wishing you bliss! Thank you for your sentiment and your wonderfully open sharing!

      xo Joy

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