During my teens, I was shy, unsure of myself, and had some major self-esteem issues. I had a tendency to dress in bulky clothing that deflected attention away from my body. Part of my motivation was to deflect the attention of my adopted dad who began sexually assaulting me as a young child. My efforts failed…my dad and the boys I went to school with saw beyond my efforts to block their attention. As a result, I found myself slipping into a state of self-hatred. I began punishing myself by withholding food (anorexia) and purging after eating (bulimia).
During my late teens I experienced a major breakthrough and began loving my body. When looking back on that time of my life, I often wonder what the catalyst for my transformation was. I find it hard to say, but honestly, it was my introduction to the book “The Joy of Sex” and my exploration of “Tantra”. Through sex, I was able to completely immerse myself in the physical and spiritual experience of being fully in my body.
When I was lost in those moments, immersed in another person, I wasn’t thinking about anything at all other than the feelings I was experiencing. Although I struggled with the ability to experience orgasms through penetration alone, it didn’t take away from the joy I felt within. I wasn’t in love, with the young men I dated at that time in my life. In fact, I don;t even think I was capable of authentic love at that stage of my life.
However, as I grew, matured, and became a woman, I found myself seeking more. I found more. When I first entered into the relationship with my current partner, I was still damaged and had a lot of work to do. Once we did the work together and independently, magic became possible. This week, we shared a meal, had a couple glasses of wine, exchanged massage and made love for hours. During an orgasmic moment, I had an epiphany of sorts. I realized that I simply MUST continue teaching others how to break through with their own partners…how to experience magic.
That is my mission in life…to promote healthy and joyous expression of sensual energy, deep intimacy with oneself and another, and an understanding of love and sex as a natural part of life. Through Tantra, I discovered a holistic approach to living life that meshes ancient wisdom, modern wisdom, and our body’s wisdom. As our minds, bodies, and spirits begin to heal, our hearts open to receive pleasure in life, love, and during our sexual experiences. It is my true passion to guide individuals, whether on their own or as a couple, on their path to sensual awakening…
That’s all she wrote. From my heart to yours, Joy