I am the first to admit that I am a partner oriented woman. Partner oriented might even be an understatement 🙂 I have been in a romantic relationship consistently since I was 14 years old. I have taken 6 months, or a year to be independent of a relationship here or there, but overall, I LOVE to love. Right now, my hubby is working tonnes, going to school full time and commuting to and from work an hour each way.At the same time, I am not able to work or go to school until I receive my US immigration papers…
What this means is that I have nothing but time on my hands and Mountain, well, he has barely any time available. It is sad to say it, but the combination of stress with the lack of time has led to a decline in our sex life. I think it may actually be part of the reason I have been blogging less. Those of you who have been reading my blog for awhile know that I love sex and sensuous intimacy almost as much as I love love.
When this shift first happened, I didn’t know what to do with myself. Our kids are all growing up…the youngest is now 10, which means they don’t need me as much as they used to. The fact that I am living in a small rural Iowa town instead of my beloved Salt Spring hasn’t helped much either. It has taken me some time to adjust to all of the change, but I am now feeling reconnected with myself and with my man.
Today we cuddled while sipping coffee on our front porch, then headed to our favourite Mexican restaurant for a leisurely lunch, then came back and cuddled some more before he left for lunch. We didn’t manage to fit making love into our day, but the connection and love I felt made up for it (well, almost lol). Thank gawd for us and for our sex life, he is about to take a semester off school and is starting a new, less taxing job with a short commute!
Even though I can’t wait to have more time together (and more sex) I learned a lot from the past year. When I am working with clients who tell me that they can barely fit sex into their schedules, in the past I had compassion, but didn’t fully understand where they were coming from. For us, sex is like breath; it is a necessity, so we have made it a priority. However, I can see how, if left untended, one’s sex life could become barely existent.
I think the underlying message is that, to keep the passion alive takes effort. I hear people say that it takes work. Heck, I think I’ve even said that in the past, but I think that, the effort necessary comes naturally if you have the desire. I desire love. I desire passion. I desire connection. I desire foreplay. I desire sex. Which means that, for me, love is in essence, effortless.
That’s all she wrote. From my heart to yours, Joy