What's Your Pleasure Trigger?


The question of the day? What is your pleasure trigger? What makes you tick and are you happy with your desire?

The past few months have been deeply intriguing. I have worked with people from around the world through Skype and phone sessions. Although this is something I have done for some time, in the past, I only worked in this way with past clients. This meant that I already had a personal connection with my client before entering into a Skype or phone session with them.

At first I found these platforms mildly confusing. I am not sure why it felt so different, but over time, I am finding myself feeling at home both on the phone and through webcam/Skype interactions. In the past week or so, I have begun to notice a trend in session focuses. I have worked with people who have a variety of fetishes that, by mainstream society, might be considered odd.

Luckily, I have been around long enough to know that, “If you like it, and you do not cause yourself or another harm, it is good.” I imagine I can still be shocked, but someone would likely have to try pretty hard to throw something at me that would actually shock me. I am not going to say that I have heard it all. Sex, sexuality and humans in general are so complex that even after living a thousand lives as an Intimacy Coach, one could not expect to fully grasp and understand each kink, fetish, or pleasure trigger.

Some of the focuses this week have caused me to contemplate my work and led me to the conclusion that what I offer is vital to the health and wellness of our society. People email me and say “I like to do(fill in the blank) to my partner, do you think I am a freak?” Or, “I like my partner to say (fill in the blank) to me when we are fucking, do you think I am sick?” My first introduction to the world of fetishes, kinks, and BDSM was during my teens.

I won;t go into the details during this post, but I will say that I was always dominant in my sexual exchanges, yet still found myself performing rather than simply giving into the pleasure of being in charge. In 2006, I attended a Quodoshka workshop. During this workshop, the teacher discussed a variety of role playing games couple could incorporate into their lives.

She said that you should work on becoming good at the role your felt most vulnerable in. For me, any role where I am not fully in charge is not comfortable for me. So, like a good sexual student, I tried to give over control to my lover. Beyond being uncomfortable, the experience did not feel authentic. I was acting like a woman who had given over control while using my seductress nature to lure my lover into submission.

What I learned from this experience is that I like to be in control and that it is okay for me to be in control. In addition, I learned that being dominant (not in a beat your ass kind of way, more of a sexually empowered seductress way) is one of my pleasure triggers. Other people may use the word “fetish” and while I fully embrace this phrase as well, I like the term “pleasure trigger”. I am not sure if it is a phrase that already exists, but it comes to my mind often and I use it during y intimacy coaching sessions.

This week I have dealt with a variety of pleasure triggers. Some clients want to overcome their pleasure triggers because their obsession is having a negative influence on their lives. Others want to more fully embrace their pleasure triggers so that they can dive deeply into a world of fantasy and pleasure using the power of their minds. Somehow, the skill set I have gained equipped me with the tools, knowledge, and desire to help my clients to transform and channel their sexual energy towards a different intention.direction. On the other hand, I am also able to help my clients dive into their pleasure using their pleasure trigger as the gateway to bliss.

Being the curious woman that I am, I found myself wondering about each of you. Wondering what makes you tick? SO I ask you to share with me…and our readers. What is your pleasure trigger? If you feel like elaborating, I would also love to know if you enjoy and are satisfied with your desire, or if you wish to transform it.images

From my heart to yours,


To book your session with me, please email me directly: joy@shaktara.com

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