Unconditional Self Love


I deeply and completely love myself unconditionally. I honor my unique abilities and beauty! If you read these word just now and felt an awkwardness in your body or heart, you are like 80-90% of the people in our world. You do NOT unconditionally love and accept yourself. If you can say those words “I deeply and completely love myself unconditionally”, and you feel your heart sing, then you are one of the few beings who embraces their unique abilities and beauty.

This week there seems to be a theme among my clients. I have one client who does not embrace his body, another who does not like her shyness, and a third who pretty much hates everything about himself. I find it so sad that self loathing and an overall dislike for oneself is so common in our society. What are we as a culture doing wrong? How can we teach our children to love themselves unconditionally so that they will grow into confident, self-appreciating adults?

I think the key is to start with a solid foundation of love. From the moment our children are born, we must have the ultimate intention of making them feel loved. True love has firm boundaries, a solid structure, and an unwavering love that is real and true even in the face of great tests. Beyond unconditionally loving our children, we must love ourselves unconditionally as well. Children who feel unconditionally loved, but see their parent(s) self loathing are bound to feel confused.

When we feel confused, it is easy to question ourselves. I am guilty of self loathing from time to time, though I have done so much healing and work that overall I love myself unconditionally. That doesn’t mean that I am not hard on myself. I think it is an easy habit to pick up and then, even if you overcome it, and fully embrace yourself as you are, it is equally easy to give back into the habit. That is why a self loving practice is so helpful.

If you do not already have a daily practice to support your self-love, appreciation, and feed your passion, I highly recommend developing one for yourself. For me, I simply try to find something I am passionate about and incorporate it into my life. Of course I love to learn and thoroughly enjoy new experiences, so this works for me. I also have a daily joyous meditation practice where I enjoy exploring my body and when I spill over into orgasm, I give myself permission to feel bliss.

For me, experiencing an orgasm while channeling my sexual energy through my mind, body, spirit, and heart is the ultimate self loving practice. It picks me up, feeds my spirit, and provides me with profound pleasure. When I experience pleasure, I feel love. I manifest love, and loving vibrations flow from and to me. It is the ultimate experience of release (letting go of negativity) and explosion (letting love literally explode in my body).

Some people seek a guide when they first start down this path. I have led thousands of people on this journey and it is a profound experience for both myself and the people I work with. However, if you do not currently have access to a guide, you can walk this path yourself. Take some time to contemplate the changes you want to see in how you feel about yourself and then find a way to begin gently breaking out of your negative thought patterns.

The bottom line: Love yourself! With the deepest respect and love, from my heart to yours, Joy!B0686

13 Comments Add yours

  1. I also have self esteem issues, like you’re hinting at. I’m very bog on affirmations, those short statements you repeat to yourself regularly, to keep your mind on a positive track.

    1. Tantrachick says:

      Absolutely, if I didn’t maintain my positive loving attitude through affirmations, meditation, and focusing on self love, I could not be the coach I am!

      I find that in addition to the above, I must move my body. For me, the power of wading into the water and swimming through the water while letting my mind focus only on my breath and the feeling of the water on my body is transformational!

      I also feel total bliss while making love and dancing! To dance ecstatically, letting go of how others perceive me feeds my soul on a truly deep level.

      My suggestion? Keep saying your affirmations and find something you are deeply passionate about!

      From my heart to yours,


      1. Thank you, Joy, will do.

  2. Ray H says:

    It should be so simple, but you are right, we need to remind ourselves all the time. Self-love is a very important love, the love that starts the chain reaction to loving the rest of the world…

    Thanks for the reminder 😀

    1. Tantrachick says:

      You’re welcome! Thank you for commenting, I love hearing other people speak 🙂 “the love that starts the chain reaction”…very well spoken! You approach truly resonates with me!

      From my heart to yours,


  3. Luck Fawyers says:

    I miss you. My heart remains steadfast in purity.

    1. Tantrachick says:

      Speechless. ~ Joy

  4. It happens that some people when the ecstasy of orgasm is accompanied by a rise inhibition in sexual repression, because of sexual traumas of childhood, and I do not mean the actual events as a violation, for example, because there the trauma not is universal, and if it is specific to the case. Here instead we refer to a fantastic event in the universal imaginary construction, since the mark of sexual difference is input from the male phallus. In this way the loss of the phallus in childhood fantasy introduces the dimension of the blame on the psychology of the adult.
    Not so much for cultural reasons. It is the construction of subjectivity as a phallic theory that the child, both man and woman, make sexuality, and is based on the perception of sexual difference marked unconscious subjectivity.
    Unconditional love can be achieved in these cases because the person reaches the trip with the help of his therapy to accept the trauma along with the practice of tantra to get rid of it and get over with the discovery of new value, not anything but it would be real or natural: the right to happiness.

  5. Tantrachick says:

    Yes, it is a very liberating process.

  6. Thank You. Happy New Year

    1. Tantrachick says:

      You are welcome dear! Happy new year to you as well! ~ Joy

  7. horns1313 says:

    Thoughts racing though my limited mind relaxing into calm and comforting focus of just being in the moment now getting closer to the objective self love or acceptance lights are dim feeling the connection of mind body and soul experience my practice open deep practice of finding that which seemed lost but only suppressed now time for better practice as you say dig deeper breath enjoy being natural and awakening not forced letting it or stated differently myself go practice makes perfect no perfect practice makes perfect resolution thankfully bliss glad I listen to you

    1. Joy says:

      Sounds lovely!

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