With my emotional self concerned for her future, and truly needing balance, my answer is orgasms! I am heading out the door to treat myself to a taco and a margarita, but wanted to share with each of you my process for transformation and self guidance. It begins something like this…I sit in my room at a time I know I will not be disturbed. I light a candle and turn the lights off, immediately feeling myself dropping into my body.
I do not try to focus on turning my thoughts off, instead, I simply focus on the dancing light patterns and the sound of my breath. I feel my breath in my body and notice the subtle shifts in my body as I exhale. There is power in exhaling. Especially if you train your subconscious mind to know that exhaling is one path to letting go. As I teach my students, I try to align my spine and pay attention to each and every muscle in my body.
As my energy shifts to arousal, I pay careful attention to my emotional state. I ask myself “How do I feel?” I don’t answer in words or thoughts, it is more of a fully body answer. If I am not at ease, there is likely tension in my shoulders. If I am calm, my breath sounds slightly more relaxed and even. I may see a colour, or think of an emotion. Today, I feel “confused”. I know my path…but there is some resistance building in me based on my circumstances.
Now that I have acknowledged my state of mind, I must decide what I want to feel. I want to replace confused with something more stable, more balanced. Balance comes to mind, but that is such an abstract concept. I keep searching in my mind for the answer. I see the color blue…merging with shades of violet, and a deep reddish orange like a sunset, or the center of a flame.
I sit with this for a moment. Safe…I want to feel safe. Understood, I want to be understood. Cherished. I want others to cherish my work as I do. Steadfast. That is it. No, wait…unwavering. Yes. Unwavering. Back to balanced. Grounded. There is so much here to learn from. I make a mental note to journal later. Then I simply give in.
I find arousal in the act of self exploration. Through understanding my emotions and my overall mental state, I feel grounded. I feel balanced. For me, when I am grounded, balanced, unwavering in my convictions…I feel deeply aroused. It is there for the taking. My arousal, that is. It is open to me at all times.
It is as if I have an out of body experience..as if some unknown Goddess is exploring my body. There is so much power in this. In me. I feel the pulse of life within. The excitement expands in my body and very quickly, I allow myself to dive in. My pleasure is like a volcano overflowing. There is breath, heat, power, and a surge of energy.
I am whole. I am balanced. I am unwavering. I am JOY! From my heart to yours…may you be free!