Tantra: Misunderstood, but Deeply Needed


Take a deep breath she tells herself, all is well in the world. This week has really knocked my spirit down a little. Paul’s comment, which basically says that my clients are mirroring my needed experience at first offended me mildly, but then made sense. I have had so much fear about living in a small Midwest town and having such an alternative practice that it does kind of make sense that I would face challenges.

One of my sweet students emailed me and said that he thought I didn’t take in person sessions. I had not planned on taking local clients, he is correct. Once again, I responded to a local need. In the past few weeks I have been flooded with session requests from people all across Iowa, Ohio, and a few of the surrounding states. People seem to be willing to drive from huge distances to work with me.

What I have learned from this is two-fold. On the one hand, the sexual repression that Dan talked about in his comment is likely part of the reason people are so desperate to work with me. There seems to be very few people who use a non-sexual approach to sexual education and healing. On the other hand, this deep-seated need also reinforces my thoughts about the area I live.

When there is repression, shame, and guilt around sexuality, the need for transformation is going to be stronger. In addition, the resistance to a practice like mine is likely also going to be stronger. This leaves me feeling unsure about how to move forward with my in person practice.

I have always done my best to respond to the needs of the people who are drawn to work with me…however, there is a comfort in working with people from around the world through Skype and phone sessions. I think what I have decided is to change my site to ensure that there is no chance of misunderstanding my intentions, approach, and offerings.

I am not exactly sure how to express what I do without opening it up to being misinterpreted, but like another reader said, “There will always be some people who think that Tantra is about nothing more or less than sexual gratification.” This is absolutely true. One person cannot transform the world’s view on sexuality, sex, and Tantra (or can she? lol).

I am planning on starting to video blog (vlog). Somehow I think that seeing my talk on video will help people understand more about me, my practice, and my offerings. In Victoria, I offered Hypnotic Hands Bodywork (totally non-sexual in nature). I also offered sensual massage teaching for couples.

Here in the US, you must be licensed to practice massage. I am starting down the bath to becoming licensed on Monday. The difference between Canada and US as far as massage goes is that you have a lot more leniency in how you can practice.

I am positive that this practice and my massage practice cannot possibly coexist. Not sure what that means for my future, but for today, I am just going to take a deep breath and let go. At the moment, the people I have chosen to work with are beautiful souls that I truly enjoy working with.

That’s all she wrote…from my heart to yours, Joy

ps: thank you for all the wonderfully insightful and supportive comments!

10 Comments Add yours

  1. Kevin says:

    Joy – continue venting. Continue deep breathing. Continue to brainstorm here.

    You have brought us all so much knowledge and laugher. I’m sure us readers of your blog can deal with the temporary diversion. Not to mention some of the smart folks (I’m excluding myself from that category he he) will continue to offer helpful feedback.

    I agree that it will be difficult to maintain both practices, especially in the conservative Midwest. If you try, I believe you will continue to get propositioned. That is with the assumption you want to continue the in-person Tantra education as well as the massage. I believe you might be able to maintain both practices if you keep one virtual and keep the identities/branding of each practice unique.

    Warm regards

    1. Tantrachick says:

      Another thought…I attempted to keep my branding and practices separate (I have a local Hypnotherapy practice). The branding is completely different, yet the two worlds are colliding. This seems to be the way it always unfolds…so I have to find a different path…if I want to have my cake and eat it too 🙂

  2. Tantrachick says:

    Awe, thank you Kevin, I appreciate you participating in this conversation! It will be difficult, except the thing that came to mind today is that so much of what I do in my healing arts practice is working with the subconscious mind. I use EFT, NLP, Energy Healing, and Hypnotherapy techniques to have breakthroughs.

    In fact, many of the techniques I use from Tantric Teachings can be moved to the category of meditation (heart centered meditation, soul searching meditation, life force energy meditation, etc.). I am wondering if the words I have chosen could be adjusted to bring my entire practice to a higher vibration.

    The techniques I use to help people break through fear and have sexual breakthroughs are almost identical…the same for weight loss, overcoming shyness, etc. I have this very large toolbox to dig into and then I have my tool-belt, which contains the most common tools I utilize. When I work with someone suffering from deep seated fear I use the same tool-belt and set of healing arts tools that I do when I work with someone suffering from premature ejaculation, performance anxiety, or even erectile dysfunction.

    I am not saying that the session is the same, but the tools I use are the same. There is something within this conversation that I haven’t quite put my finger on. I think I am getting there though, so please keep talking everyone…your suggestions and even the simple act of conversing is incredibly helpful.

  3. Sacha Fosssa says:

    Thanks so much Joy for all of your sharing. I commend and support your honest and deep exploration into your own Tantric path, life, and business (which really as we know becomes one and the same), and in relation to the reactions and misunderstandings of others when it comes to Tantra. I too am a practitioner who sees clients at home, in a small somewhat puritanical town in the Northeast, not far from where the so-called witches were hung. In the beginning of my practice I had a local anonymous woman call me a prostitute, through my website. I get inquiries fairly regularly for full body/happy ending massage. I am still working on how to market my work with the clarity that there is no shame in nudity, or sensual massage, or any modern tantric practices. I so enjoy teaching them! And I do not (in my business practice) engage in nudity, genital touch, or sex with my clients. Not only is it illegal, but I also have a monogamous partnership at this time. I choose to keep my personal actual sex practices sacred between he and I. One of my Sacred Sexuality teacher’s, Michael Mirdad, taught me that anything I teach should be able to be taught with clothing on. It’s ok that this does not work for everyone. There are plenty of Tantra sessions available out in the world where you get to take off your clothes and have whatever touch you want. And there are student/clients who would prefer they do that part with themselves and their lovers, yet they still wish to learn the secrets, techniques and practices. To each their own.

    1. Sacha Fosssa says:

      Oops. My name is Sacha Fossa. Sorry for typo.

    2. Tantrachick says:

      I still plan on expanding on my reaction to what you shared…hopefully tomorrow! Have a glorious day! From my heart to yours, Joy

  4. sachafossa says:

    Reblogged this on sacredtempleartsblog and commented:
    I have been following Tantrachick for sometime now. Check her out!

    1. Tantrachick says:

      I have read and loved your comment…things have been a bit hectic this week, so I have not had a chance to put the energy I want to into a response. I will likely write a blog post because you sparked a flame in my soul. From my heart to yours, Joy

      1. Sacha Fosssa says:

        Thank you Joy!!!! From my heart to yours, too! Sacha

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