Sacred Sexual Immersion


I am dreaming of creating a sacred space where couples can work with me and be 100% immersed in each other. A space where they can discover and share their desires…where they are able to express their innermost sexual hunger. For me, sex is like breath. It fills me up, brings me peace, and lulls my mind, body and spirit into a sacred state that nothing else can.

I want to once again share what I have learned. I have even thought about creating a sacred space where men/women can go to learn the sacred sexual arts independently. I know there are places where a sexual surrogate offers their services for this purpose…I am not sure how I would feel about working with someone and then having them dive in with a sexual surrogate, but it seems like a possible solution…my personal boundaries prevent me from teaching on a physical level, possibly this is something I should consider.



7 Comments Add yours

  1. In my work, I have learned that there is an immense difference, for ME, between “personal boundaries” that are a product of my self-identifications, attachments, assumptions and self-consciousness (“ought’s,” “should’s,” “what will others think’s” etc …) and those that arise out of personal familiarity, discernment and choice. Further, I have learned that such boundaries (since they are based on discernment and choice) are essentially dynamic and responsive to the environment and the energies within which I am doing my discerning and choosing.

    I entered into this work full of boundaries of the former … and Life very patiently and persistently challenged me to replace “static, solid barriers to experience” with “dynamic, organic membranes” that (like the cells that comprise my body) are in constant dialogue with their environment without losing their integrity.

    My point? My “personal boundaries” have evolved (and continue to evolve) based on my ongoing “dialogue” with life. I have asserted boundaries, today, that may (to an outsider’s perspective) appear more restrictive than years ago when Life finally stripped me of my last “static, arbitrary injunctions.” The difference? These boundaries are a product of my heart’s Self-knowing and discernment, and are clearer, more resilient and effective than the brittle ones established by my mind.

    Chances are, your boundaries are a direct reflection of your heart’s knowing. When approaching the “something I should consider,” my encouragement is to remember that it is your heart (with its full and equal access to all forms of intelligence and feedback in our physical and energetic systems) that is best suited to make the evaluation and the choice, not (simply) the mind. And while it is always enriching to hear others’ perspectives … when it comes to the moment of choice, they are irrelevant. Including MINE! 🙂

    Thank you for this provocation to my own reflection … (( <3 ))

    1. Joy says:

      Wow! I felt my heart sing in response to your sharing…I want to dig deeper, but life is calling at the moment, so I will be back in a day or so to respond. I sincerely appreciate your brave and open sharing! From my heart to yours, with the utmost respect, Joy

  2. jerrytyner says:

    One thing I have learned over the years is that all things are energy, most especially our sexual being. The first and second chakras are directly involved in the sexual act and link the two people together at an energetic and spiritual level, in some cases forever. Some people can protect themselves from this energetic interaction, but many cannot. From a counseling perspective, we cannot engage with a client sexually. Not only because it is illegal but it also removes all objectivity and blocks the ability to truly make a difference in the client’s life. The psychological terms are transference (from teh client to the counselor) and countertransference (from the counselor to the client).
    Surrogates maybe okay for those not in a committed relationship (the ideal situation) but you being that surrogate would not be ideal. Your energy is so powerful it would be hard (maybe impossible) for any man or woman to not link to you, even if you don’t want them to, if you allow them to enter your sacred space (yani, etc.). My personal opinion would be that you keep yourself separate so you can teach your technique to others.
    Love and Light.

    1. Joy says:

      What you said makes a lot of sense to me. I have always been a believer in the ability of the subconscious mind and conscious mind to work in connection to create change. That is the process that I guide and the method I use in my practice. Not to disrespect anyone who is on any path, but for me, sex is about deep, loving connection. I am partner oriented, which I know a lot of people have attacked. People have tried to tell me that I am not authentically partner oriented….that it is more about control.

      I hear this point of view and understand where it comes from, but I know my heart, I know my body, and I know my soul. I have only had sex with my husband in my entire adult life and it feeds my soul. I enjoy the sacredness of our connection and sexual union…and I am deeply satisfied. The only reason I might consider working with a sacred surrogate is because I have recently worked with more than one person who I feel would benefit from physical contact on a sexual level…

      I like what you said about my energy 😉 I have noticed this in the past!

      From my heart to yours,


  3. Gaia Moon says:

    I have often thought of this~ there is an intense need for this work in our society and while I feel we are evolving spiritually towards this type of sacred sexual work, we must also be very selective in who we allow into this powerful space~

    It would be absolutely necessary to work only with those who are initiated through spiritual dedication, keeping a daily meditation practice, working with spiritual energies, connected to the cycles of Earth and Moon, etc~~ and most importantly, those who have worked through their inner emotional and relational issues towards Spiritual and emotional maturity~

    Every Tantric and Sacred Sexual Circle I have come across is always very emphatic about no nudity or sexual activity, which I feel is necessary for beginners and initiates, though there are many of us who feel a calling to more profound work and either lack a life partner or are not partner oriented~ as one who was born and lives this life as a male (and has always remembered previous life as female), and is dedicated to Earth-based and Goddess-centered Spirituality, I do seek such work, though require the above Spiritual dedication of my sexual surrogate/teacher, and vice-versa of myself as a sexual surrogate and teacher in turn~ to me this work is only a foundation of attuning sexually to each other, for the goal of cultivating, raising, and directing Sexual Energies as One, as a mutual Spiritual Working towards Enlightenment~ OM Shakti OM~ Blessings and Light~

  4. Suzanne says:

    Joy, it sounds like what you are dreaming of creating is a lot like what my partner and I have been searching for – a safe space with someone to teach us the art of sacred sexuality and tantra, to deepen our relationship and elevate our spirits…to be frank, we have done a bit of research in the past, trying to find a teacher in our area or even in nearby cities…and nothing we’ve come across felt comfortable/non-creepy. But I’ve been subscribed to your blog for over a year now and always felt positive vibes! You seem both spiritual and down-to-earth, which is important. At any rate, please keep us all posted – there is interest/support! 🙂

    1. Joy says:

      While living on Salt Spring Island, I had a glorious sanctuary where couples and individuals could come to learn from me. I worked on a very intimate, yet non-sexual level with hundreds of couples and individuals. I have not managed to recreate the same space here in the Midwest, but I am contemplating either setting up a sanctuary here or travelling to people to accommodate sessions. The challenge with travelling is of course concern for my safety…I would love to work with you…not sure of your location, but another thought I have is to find an inititial couple/individual in an area who commit to a session and then book a few sessions in the location to cover travel costs and make it worth the extra effort for me. I most enjoy working with couples in their own space as it facilitates a body memory and a nostalgic connection to their place. Not sure how serious you are about working with someone, but if you are interested in pursuing a session, you can comment here or email me directly:

      From my heart to yours,


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