I must say, I know i am only on the third day of this sex challenge, but I highly recommend it to couples who are wanting to reconnect. Mountain and I have not drifted apart, we are not having relationship issues, and overall things are wonderful in our relationship. However, the pressures of balancing work, family, and the need for individuality within our relationship has definitely taken its toll on our intimacy.
Throughout our entire relationship we have focused on our intimacy as the core of the foundation of our marriage. It still is, but it definitely began to get set aside for another more convenient time. We have always maintained having sex or another form of sexual intimacy 3-5 times per week on average. Sometimes more, sometimes slightly less, but that is a pretty average number per week. Of those 3-5 times per week, 1-2 of the times we were intimate we would have what we call “earth shattering sex”.
Recently we have slipped into a pattern of let’s say 1 time per week, 2 times per week, 3 times on the weekend, nothing for the rest of the week….just to give you a general idea. The first night it was incredibly tricky to make time and last night was even worse. I had planned to have dinner, a glass of wine, sex for desert and then walk up to a double feature movie I have been planning to do since..well, since last year actually. Then Mountain text messages me to let me know he is stuck at work and won’t be home until around 7 pm (right when my movie was set to start).
Dammit. It was honestly kind of frustrating. I knew that by the time I got home, he would be asleep, which would mean that we didn’t even make it through our second day. So I didn’t go to the movies. I stayed home, made a late supper, which we ate while sipping Merlot and chatting romantically…when we finally made it to the bedroom things were a bit rushed, but after we shared a mutual orgasm and lay there for a few contemplative moments, we shared another orgasm through mutual self pleasure. I am not sure I would have said it like this in the past, but after facing the past couple years and this stage of life that our kids are in, I have come to a realization…maintaining a pleasurable intimate connection takes dedication, patience, and both verbal and non verbal communication.
From my heart to yours,