Sensual Exploration

Hey Lovelies,

So my daughter’s tattoo parlour is kicking some serious ass! She has been featured in the media and recently got busy enough that she needed to hire another tattooist! I help her with some of the business logistics, including hiring. I found a young tattoo artist who was at the time living in Colorado and working in a highly esteemed tattoo shop.

After a few weeks of back and forth communication, Eden and I decided that Barron Bon Chance McCollum would make an awesome addition to the Viva La Vida Tattoo Artist team! The only challenge facing Barron was that he didn’t know a single soul here and had nowhere to land. You may not know this about me but I am an avid animal lover.

I pick up strays constantly and I have fostered hundreds of animals over the years. I also have a tendency to open my home to people in need. Barron arrived about a month ago. My daughter picked him up at the bus station and he stayed with us for a few weeks. He is an interesting young man.

Though he is only 26 years old, he has had a lot of life experience. As I got to know him a bit more, it became clear to me that he is a little confused about who he is and what it means to be a man. Knowing a little bit about my knowledge base in relation to romantic connections and sexuality, he began asking me some questions about his life path.

I won’t share anything personal about Barron or his life choices; instead, I will share with you what I shared with him in response to his questions. I basically told him that I am an advocate for single men and women of all ages letting go of what society tells them about their sexuality or their sensuality and diving into a process of self-discovery.

I call this process “sensual exploration”. For some, the idea of connecting with a large number of people feels daunting and unappealing. For others, they want to touch, taste and experience as many flavors of human experience as they can. For one individual, sensual exploration may mean learning more about their bodies, increasing their sexual intelligence and deepening their self-pleasure through masturbation.

For another, sensual exploration may mean opening not only their hearts but also their bodies to a number of people from a variety of backgrounds and varying sexual interests. Barron said that he isn’t a “player” he just crushes on a lot of women. For someone like him, sensual exploration may mean skinny dipping with a beautiful woman, going on a romantic walk with someone he has no sexual interest in, or even just connecting emotionally on an intimate level with a variety of women even if there is no sexual contact.

For me, sensual exploration is an internal, external and also partner oriented process. I am deeply aware of my body, my sexual energy and I have a true love affair with self-pleasuring. My external sensual exploration is expressed through sensual photos and other creative endeavors that feed my sexual, sensual spirit. As for sensual exploration with my partner, together we dive into our sensuality and sexuality with a focus on mutual pleasure and discovery.

There is nothing that is off limits for us. We have an incredible sex life, awesome romantic connection, and my lover is my best friend. We have shared a loving, blissful connection for 2 decades and although there have been moments during our connection that one or both of us would enjoy more sexual connection, we are fully open to communicating and making adjustments or accommodations to ensure that we are deeply sexually satisfied.

My sensuality and sexuality are fully engrained in who I am as a woman and as a human being. Yesterday my mother realized that the pin up girl tattoo I posted on Facebook was mine. She was absolutely horrified. She said, “Why in the bloody hell would you put something like that on your body?!!” I responded in an even tone, “Because I am finally fully embracing my wild side and my sexuality, mom.” That ended our conversation quickly, lol. What my conversation with my mom illustrates is that we are all different. Each of us has our own pleasure triggers, our own sexual and sensual expressions and that is okay.

I don’t have to approve of how you express yourself sexually and you do not have to approve of how I express myself sexually. I don’t have to approve of what your sensual exploration looks like and you do not have to approve of what my sensual explroation looks like. If you are not causing yourself or anyone else emotional, physical or sexual harm, how you sexually and sensually express yourself is for you to decide. The bottom line is this; if you like it, it’s good! I encourage you to open the lines of communication with yourself, with your partner and also here on this blog! If you have a story you’d like to share, or a question you would like answered, please drop me a line!

From my heart to yours,



2 Comments Add yours

  1. jeffstroud says:

    the world needs more conversations like this! Open, authentic, honest, with creative assistance! Beautifully expressed!
    As a gay man I explored my sexuality in my early years fully with abandon…I am grateful I am still here to share about. The strange thing is since my being sober for 27 years sexuality had taken a back path during my reawakening of who I was as a person. Several years ago I was treated to 10 day Body Electric experience that made me very aware of how fully sexuality and sensual pleasure is and could be in the midst of any from conscious loving relationships. To fully embrace who we are is a powerful authentic experience!

  2. Joy says:

    Oh yes! To fully embrace who we are is a powerful authentic experience. I hear that in my heart! Much love to you sweet Jeff and thank you from my heart to yours for sharing in such an authentic way! Mwah!

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