Flow With Joy


Hey lovelies,

It’s cool, overcast day here in m little slice of the Midwest. Perfect day for writing and soaking in my hot tub! Just about to grab a coffee and head to the tub but was inspired to write a bit first. If you have a mind like mine, then you are already fully aware of what a “flow state” is. Remembering that humans communicate through the power of language, so while one person may use the term flow state, there are likely thousands of phrases I could use to describe the same thing.

The essence of a flow state is simple. To be in a flow state is to “be in the zone”. Athletes, writers, dancers, artists, yoga teachers, meditators, extreme sports enthusiasts, and even people who use pain as a gateway for entering “the zone” are all tapping into the power of flow. According to Wikipedia: “In positive psychology, flow, also known as the zone, is the mental state of operation in which a person performing an activity is fully immersed in a feeling of energized focus, full involvement, and enjoyment in the process of the activity. In essence, flow is characterized by complete absorption in what one does.”

For me, if I am truly in a flow state, I am likely writing, dancing, painting, connecting with nature, engaging in a heart connected conversation, or giving or receiving massage. Of course, being the sexually empowered woman I am, when I truly started contemplating flow states, I immediately thought of the single most powerful way I enter flow. If flow or the zone “is the mental state of operation in which a person performing an activity is fully immersed in a feeling of energized, full enjoyment in the process of activity” then I enter the deepest states of flow during sex, masturbation, and orgasm.

I have been reading a lot about flow states recently and although some people talk about the sensual side of flow,, it took a bit of digging to find anything of value on the topic. What was truly exciting was the discovery that OneTaste founder, Nicole Daedone, and Flow Genome Project co-founder, Steven Kotler, are working together to combine the power of flow and orgasm! A few years ago, while writing The Concise Guide to Multiple Orgasms for Men I wrote about my experience with what I call “joyous meditation.” At the time, I didn’t make the link between my personal masturbation routine and flow states, but after reflecting, I now see the connection.

I am excited to explore this profound connection on a deeper and more meaningful level. I was also curious…have you ever entered a flow state? If so, please share your experience!

From my heart to yours,




10 Comments Add yours

  1. Dinesh says:

    Well said

    1. Joy says:

      Thank you…

  2. Joy says:


  3. Joy says:

    “Be universal in your love. You will see the universe to be the picture of your own being.”
    ― Sri Chinmoy

  4. Kevin says:

    I have definitely entered the zone while running. Not always, not even frequently. But when I do, it actually feels like I am just flowing over the trail. It feels effortless and I am actually faster.

    If I could enter the zone during sex or masturbation, wow!

    Glad to see you back. I hope this is a sign you are going to start writing again 🙂

    1. Joy says:

      I have actually experienced flow while running through the forest, swimming, and during a lot of other physical activities but flow during sex and masturbation are by far the ultimate expression of flow for me! I have no idea, it seems to come in fits and bursts…my writing, that is 🙂

  5. Charles Harper III says:

    Soaking in a hot tub sounds like a relaxing way to spend part of the day.

    1. Joy says:

      It is one of my favorite things to do 🙂

  6. Rick says:

    Cold Snowy morning here in the Banana Belt of Canada’s West Coast.it’s been a long unusually Cold winter…Hitting the Zone or Flow state ,came at a young age well playing different Sports…The action would seem to move in slow motion,every thing would click,like your reading a team mates mind…Full view of field of play ,magic would seem to happen.Then poof gone ..It was very fleeting and rare…Always thought practice,practice and more practice would facilitate the happening…

    Then well laying in a Floatation Tank for the first time, a eureka moment drifted in, BOOM…A merging or zone or flow state,that stayed with me for hours afterwards.On getting out of the tank it was like someone had turned up the lights,everything was brighter.Stepping out of the Float Center could see an aura around the trees..Was in a euphoric state for what seemed like hours…Was so impacted by the experience it was life altering. Somehow over the course of the next year had gotten myself into a study at one of the leading Research Facilities working with REST.One of the Techs would hook me up with EEG and I’d float..We could see the going into the Merge State as we called it,on the EEG…

    Next time will talk about finding flow state in Sex,
    Joy can teach you how

    1. Joy says:

      Awesome experience Rick, I am so glad you shared. <3

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